Team Switzerland
by Amethyst King
Summary: Walmart is a scary place for sweet little Lichtenstein. But with a little help, it's not such a bad place. K  for a couple unkind words


This is because I feel like doing some cracky Lichtenstein stuff. The pairing is myself/Lichtenstein. Human names used. I do not own Twilight, Walmart, or Hetalia. I don't own a car either but I'm working on that.

There was simply no way big brother was making her do this.

This store was almost as big as her entire principality! Great white walls with no windows gave way to a glass door that opened and closed itself. Above it were the biggest letters she had ever seen in her life that spelled out the word "WAL-MART". She stood in awe of the great godless cathedral until a very large woman in a very small car bleeped her horn.

"Git cho ass outta da middle o da road!" She yelled. Three large SUVs behind her roared with appreciation of her crude action

Lili jumped. How could Americans be so rude and scary!

She ran into the building and was swallowed by the glass door. The personification of Lichtenstein closed her eyes and sighed, relieved to be out of that mess.

"Big brother was right" she muttered "Americans are scary"

"_Now remember Lili," He said before the bus came to pick her up to take her to the store "Don't talk to strangers, keep your bus fare separate from the rest of your money, keep your room key in your hat, and I'll be back at the hotel in a few hours. American bank accounts are almost as disorganized as the Italians'"_

"_But I'm scared!" Lili was almost in tears._

_Vash knelt down to her. The people at the bus stop were staring at the Swiss man and the little girl dressed like him._

"_Lili, you have to do it. You have to start being independent. I may not be around to protect you from wild animals and naked Italians and those scary Americans forever."_

"_O-okay" she sniffed. _

_The shuttle arrived with a great squeaking of breaks and Vash hugged her one last time before he saw her off._

Lili saw the shopping carts to her right and pulled out the one that had the least amount of chewed bubblegum on it and pushed it into the store.

Again, she stared around.

The ceiling was as high as a steeple with perfectly hung blazing white fluorescent lights. Dozens of checkouts beeped as sticky children wailed for sweets and TV screens advertized fake happy families eating food that the so-called "busy working mother" put in the microwave. What Americans found so difficult about cooking was beyond her comprehension.

"Hullo" creaked an elderly woman sitting by the door. She was very cranky-looking but had happy name sticker on her lanyard. Strange...

Lichtenstein pulled out her list and recited it aloud to herself, tracing the words her brother had written.

Ingredients for Cheese Ramkin

483 g frozen puff pastry, thawed

1 egg

235 ml milk

8 g all-purpose flour

0.3 g ground black pepper

1 g ground nutmeg

215 g shredded Gruyere cheese

And get yourself a new shirt. Your dresses are turning to rags and I'm not going to be like Austria

"I can do this, I can do this" Lili muttered to herself.

It was then she remembered that she couldn't find these measurements on food in the US.

She sighed. Why was everything so much more complicated on this side of the ocean.

Lili wandered through that store for an hour, seeing toys, shoes, canoes, and even car tires before she came to the food section.

She simply couldn't stop staring at the enormous things around her. She had never seen such a wide variety of anything before in her life.

"I should find the milk and cheese first" she thought.

The large sign directed her towards the dairy section. There, stocking yogurt, was the first person who asked her if she needed help since she got there.

She was a tall, brunette girl with round, deep, rich autumn eyes. She was stocky, but not grotesque like so many others in the store. She didn't wear makeup, so she was washed out but still had a healthy glow. Her dusting of orange freckles contrasted from the blue polo shirt she wore. Her name tag was covered in stickers with a pointy-eared, stern-looking man with heavily slanted eyebrows making an odd hand gesture. The name on her tag said "TABETHA" How strange it was to to spell it that way.

"You need some help, hun?" she asked. Her sincerity was genuine.

"Yes ma'am. I was wondering if you could help me find these items."

S showed her the list, and she pulled out her calculator.

"Metric conversions" she said in a bubbly voice "are pretty simple to do if you know how to do them. We just covered this in Algebra and I got an A- on that test so..."

She trailed off doing her calculations, and put them next to Big Brother's. It was very kind of her not to scratch out Vash's handwriting. Lili could have done the conversions herself, but it was so kind of Tabetha to go through all that trouble.

"Also, I need help finding the ingredients." she said.

"Okay."

Tabetha couldn't explain it, but she felt attracted to this girl. She could have only been a year younger than Tabetha.

"So, what's your name?" Tabetha asked

"Oh. I'm Lili Zwingli"

"Interesting name. German?"

"No, I'm a Liechtensteiner."

"From Liechtenstein?"

"Yes! Not very many people are familiar with my homeland". She couldn't tell Tabetha that she was the personification of her country's 35,000 people, but this had her excited

"Yeah, we just learned about it in AP European history. Lichtenstein almost got wiped out after World War Two, but Switzerland stepped in and saved them. Seems pretty cool that Switzerland would do that, y'know , with it being all neutral and solitary."

Lichtenstein blushed and grinned. If only Tabetha knew...

After a while they found all the ingredients in the right amounts so there was only one thing left on her list: New shirt.

Lili couldn't find much in the store to please her, but Tabetha led her to a display of shirts with vampires and werewolves on them

"It's gotta be in here somewhere. I was saving this one for me, but we're getting another shipment in soon"

Tabetha pulled out a shirt out of the pile that said "TEAM SWITZERLAND"

"This suits you" she said with a wink. "Next time you see Kiku Honda, tell him I'm praying for him. That earthquake looks like it really must have hurt him."

And then she was gone...

Lili smiled as she stood in the checkout line with her odd assortment of foods, a shirt that she didn't understand the significance to werewolves and vampires to, and a curiosity of how the girl knew about the personifications. But that wasn't important.

Lili went to the bathroom and changed into the new shirt. It smelled of chemicals and cardboard and Tabetha. Lovely. She stood at the bus stop to find that Vash had gotten done earlier than expected and was right there. He looked at her shirt and blushed. Only his little sister would find the Twilight shirt that had absolutely nothing to do with glittery, queer, tree-jumping excuses for vampires.


End file.
